By The Samford Beez
Dear The Beez,
I’m sure you’re familiar with the Sons of Light, Samford’s mysterious secret society filled with black robes and cloaked in mystery. They come to campus by night to plant scavenger hunts, posted riddles, hide plaques and much more – but when you look for them, they are nowhere to be found. No one knows who they are, but I’m pretty sure that my mom is a member. She’s consistently speaking in old English and riddles and is very touchy about the subject. What the heck do I do?
Margaret
5’ 7’’
Gardendale, Ala.
Don’t worry Margaret. We’ve all been through the whole “I think my mom is in a secret society that has been around for decades” kind of thing. Or even more interesting, the “I can’t explain the black robe and mask hidden in the basement” thing. Let’s be honest, we’ve all been there.
And I think the best course of action is to tread extremely lightly (no pun intended). The Sons of Light have been likened to famous mob groups throughout history, such as the mafia in Sicily or the Gambino Crime Family. It’s rumored they struck the tree in the quad with lightning last year, and that they are the ones who slip tickets onto dashes overnight. They have been linked to the great Vail fire alarm scare of 2023 and they plant black mold hidden in Smith dorm rooms. The root of mischief around campus begins with them.
But no one knows, and that’s what makes them so scary and mysterious. The Sons of Light are smothered in darkness and mystery, even more so than the forgotten fourth floor of the library.
So, tread carefully – don’t address the issue directly. Do some digging on your own – and DON’T. GET. CAUGHT. I heard the last person to get in over their head mysteriously overslept their class registration date.
Walk gently and be careful who you trust – there are eyes everywhere.
In Solidarity,
-The Beez
