By The Samford Beez
Dear The Beez,
I’ve never really gotten into working out before, but now that “The Bert” is open, I want to get into it. All these online fitness plans are super duper complicated and they’re scary to even get started. Help me, Samford Beez, you’re my only hope.
Cecil
Sophomore
Albuquerque, NM
5’9”
160 lbs
Dear Cecil,
Thanks so much for reaching out. You might not know it, but the fitness and health department of the Samford Bee has been itching for a question like this.
I have a three-pronged fork for you (a seafood or cocktail fork, if you will).
The first prong: dress for success. Think decade themed. Sauna suits are back. Don’t even think about the fact that you’re working out near the girl that sits in front of you in Core Texts. Think bright colors, tear away points, parachute pants, bleached denim – I could go on.
Second prong: no instructions, just dive right in. The less you know about how a machine works, the better it is for you. If you have no idea what to do with that weird machine in the corner, just go for it. Don’t you dare look up any instructions whatsoever.
Third prong: hydration. Carry around your water all day. Find a 3-5 gallon water bottle at least and carry it around so that everyone knows you’re going to work out later. And when you’re in the gym, hydration is key. As the old saying goes: “hydrate or die.” Or something like that.
Go at it with confidence. The weights can’t hurt you. High weight, high reps, all the time.
Sincerely,
The Beez
