DISCLAIMER: This article is purely satire
The fall semester always brings an interesting phenomenon to Samford’s campus: pledge season. Fraternities get the joy of having 50-something new errand boys to appease their every want. Reporting the weather, cleaning the chapter room, picking up meals at all hours of the night, and of course, humiliating themselves in any way the initiated members see fit.
Sure, we all get a laugh out of seeing guys rolling backpacks across campus or wearing a propeller hat every day, but there’s something deeper to it. These humiliation rituals may seem silly or cruel to us on the outside, but clearly, they work.
The unbridled loyalty pledges show their fraternity is obvious, and it makes me wonder… Should other student organizations make members prove their allegiance?
Imagine a Freshman Forum member arriving at an SGA meeting with a wrinkled shirt and being forced to wear an inflatable dinosaur costume as punishment. It would be a great lesson in professionality.
Think of the bond that freshman SOAC members would share if they were dropped at top of Oak Mountain at night and forced to navigate their way down with no flashlights!
What if new RUF attendees were required to polish the floors of Hodges Chapel until they shined? They’d have so much respect for the building from then on!
The Crimson has decided to begin a pledging process with our very own staff. Any typos are rewarded with a wall sit: one minute for every error. After Jackson Clark forgot to include a photo with his article, he was assigned the role of gargoyle pledge.
“I think this is a great experience,” Clark said from his perch on the chair in the conference room. “This is definitely preparing me for the real world.”
Arts & Life Editor
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